I’m not sure when it all started, but parts of myself felt disconnected last year in Oakland and Atlanta. I was running this hyperactive hamster wheel of work, multiple mundane meetings, building my business, and squeezing any remaining time for play. On top of that, add a global pandemic.
It was a lot even for a coach who has profoundly and intensively studied positive psychology, resilience, and grit. My toolbox was not helping. Autopilot was taking over me. Autopilot makes it hard for us to make good conscious choices; we feel static, stuck, and complacent. It’s like an expired script that rinses, repeats and replays all over again without much thought, intention, and awareness. Some of the things you feel:
🎨 Your heart and mind are operating as separate entities, not as a team.
🎨 You feel you’re a passenger and not the driver of your life.
Your inner compass feels foggy, and intuition is imbalanced, so decisions and judgments are based on external influences.
🎨 You’re not living in the present moment. You’re ruminating the past, and the future makes you feel anxious.
I could no longer feel my heart muscles. I truly felt robotic and rusty. I was just existing and not…. living.
Then came my best friend in a Prius with dark chocolate to a treehouse I was staying in and reintroduced and reactivated my muscles to mindful meditation & Jill Shepherd…..to be continued…..
It’s endearing when your friends can telepathically sense something off and show up on your doorstep with the bear hug and wisdom your heart center needs to hear. They remind, reset and bring you back to your best self. Sadi knew precisely what I needed, and going back to my spiritual path with insight meditation was the active ingredient missing.
We started slow.
Our first week, we just sat for an hour, and being able to sit in silence and still with your thoughts was HARD. My headspace was noisy. It was overactive, and I was just waiting for him to chime the bell so it could be done and over with. Sitting with your thoughts, you had not processed or connected with can come with a tall order of confronting uncomfortable emotions.
I was sitting with it. All of it. The pleasant. The neutral. The unpleasant. My stuff needed to be unpacked in silence and solo, And going through it required me to stay in that process and not wanting to hit abort. Meditation is not an instant fix for bringing clarity, peace, and freedom. It’s a powerful practice that takes intention, patience, a lot of patience awareness, and understanding that staying consistent will bring the fruit and flower seeds to bloom. Deepen the learning and forward the movement.
We met often and practiced daily. Even the days we did not want to. That’s actually when you need to do it most.
Three months later, we completed our first two-day silent retreat. I could feel a sense of relief, clarity, and connection to myself after a long time. I was coming off Autopilot and the treadmill life. It felt like I was coming home to myself each time I would open my eyes after the pause of sitting still. The conduit of my mind and heart were communicating one language. The synchronization created centredness. The insights I received about myself in each sitting were the best guideposts. I started to have a relationship with myself all over again. They don’t teach you this enough, but your relationship with yourself is the most important of them all. Meditation teaches that aspect. The relationship you have with yourself sets the tone for every relationship you have.
It felt damn darn good, and from there, I started to rearrange and reorganize and redesign a life true to me. Personally, and Professionally.
As a coach, I embed parts of pieces of mindfulness and meditation in my practice. It’s what allows my clients to slow down to get unstuck and forge a new path. A better path. A beautiful path.
I am sharing some resources if you are interested in entering the meditation space.
https://lnkd.in/g7Vqru3c
https://lnkd.in/g66-ZUaq
